i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
