i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
