We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
