Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
