Well douche your snatch and let's go!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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