I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
