you guys were way drunker than both of me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
