Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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