That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize