I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize