Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
