Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
