I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
