Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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