Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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