My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
