how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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