somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
