I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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