I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
