I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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