What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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