DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Mom said you looked used
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I am one with the molecules
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
