I hate your face
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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