I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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