I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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