The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
your like the ambassador to my penis.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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