you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
