I molested 6 butterflies tonight
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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