Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize