My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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