Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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