I accidentally burped into my bong.
if only i could text you this smell
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
