my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
