Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
my shit smells like andre
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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