We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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