im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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