I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
