So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
