two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
