I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
