too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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