so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
