as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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