Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
