She said her name was "party"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
