i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
