He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
