you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
