The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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