Someone shit on the floor
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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