Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Houston, we have a squirter
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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