Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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