You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
