Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
