You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
