we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
