Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
