How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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