How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
