Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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