How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize