I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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