i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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