I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
