I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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